Friday, February 28, 2014

My Mouf is Thwristy

I am mostly a stay-at-home-mom.  When I am not carting people to doctors' appointments, going to Lacrosse games at 7:00 am on a Sunday, attending IEP meetings and all the other busy stuff that makes "staying-at-home" a full time job with unrelenting overtime I am a Labor & Birth Doula.

What I do is educate families about their options and choices for their upcoming birth; whether it is their first baby or their fifth, I offer support, education and guidance to parents and parents-to-be.  I am there with them throughout their pregnancy, all through the early stages of labor, staying with them through the birth, whether it's two hours or twenty-four hours.  I look after them in a mother hen type fashion.  I go into the OR if they need a c-section.  I am with them throughout their journey.

This past week my teenaged daughter had to get five wisdom teeth removed (because, yes, I needed to pay $300 more for an extra unnecessary tooth).  Being the nurturing control freak that I am, I was worried.  I made sure my daughter knew what was going to happen (with appropriate gaps in information), I made sure the Surgeon's Office had the liquid pain killers since she cannot swallow pills, and all the other stuff one does before they put their first born under general anesthesia.

We arrived at the office early in the morning and the doctor allowed me to come back to the OR.  I was able to hold my daughter's hand until the Sevoflurane kicked in and she was asleep.  Quickly, the nurse started an IV line and I was escorted back to the waiting room.

It was very surreal for me.  Here I was, the mother of the patient, stuck in a small (unheated, I may add) waiting room with no contact or watchful eye.  It really struck me as odd since I have SO much access to my clients during their labor and birth and so little with my own child's experience.

When I got to see her in Recovery, the ubiquitous YouTube Video of Child Coming Out from Anesthesia was recorded.  I was never so glad to see her.

Here is a very, very long video:

Friday, February 14, 2014


I know I have not posted in a long while but recently there has been great demand (erm...) for my Facebook Anti-Winter Weather Haikus to be "published". As I am older than dirt, I hear "published" and think "paper". I have Tweeted the lovely poems below, but here they are, on one page, for your viewing pleasure. I think the Vogons have nothing on me!

Haiku #1 (or, When the Storm Was Gently Falling in Backyard and Pelting Front of House)
Gentle flakes falling
Ice pellets tap tap tapping
Bipolar vortex

Haiku #2 (a/k/a The Storm is Getting Serious)
Winter wind whistling
Shaking, shuddering siding
Flakes flying freely

Haiku #3  (The Progression of My Desperation is Palpable)

Fuck this fucking shit
More snow than one mom can handle
Fuck this fucking shit

Haiku #4 (A ray of hope around 7pm)
Yellow machine scrapes
Clearing the way for the bus
Am I that lucky?

Haiku #5 (“Acceptance”)
Another day “off”
Steel nerves or nervous breakdown?
Bauer v Torrance